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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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Next, I get a call about a local bakery on Main Street. Apparently, they’re giving away free pastries. I mean, who can resist free food? I rush over, and it’s pandemonium. People are shoving each other for croissants. I’m just standing there, laughing my head off.

Flooding continuing to cause disruption around Newark and Southwell area